


Secret Weapons

by KimberlyFDR



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Study, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Romance, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-18
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 08:10:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimberlyFDR/pseuds/KimberlyFDR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney thinks the US Government has problems</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Weapons

**Author's Note:**

> After hearing about the insanity of the US Military admitting to considering building a "Gay Bomb" Rodney started complaining and ranting.

John was in that blissful in-between place of not quite sleeping, but not quite being awake. He was warm beneath the covers, the vibrations of Atlantis thrumming at the edge of his consciousness like a welcome friend. No missions scheduled today, no immediate threats to drag him out of bed, just peaceful...

"Your government is so utterly stupid," Rodney's voice broke into John's thoughts. Grimacing, he cracked open one eye to find Rodney sitting up on his side of the bed, hunched over a laptop.

"What now?" John sighed, shutting his eyes again and hoping that he could just grunt at the appropriate moments and pretend to listen as he did his best to regain unconsciousness.

"They were planning on building a gay bomb. A GAY BOMB, Sheppard. If that isn't one of the most insanely stupid ideas your crackpot government has come up with, I don't know what is. This surpasses even the Superconducting Super Collider and that's saying alot. I mean, $12 billion to replicate the Big Bang? Do you know how much research I could have done with that kind of cash? But no, let's dig a big tunnel in Texas that's gonna save the world! Idiots."

It was definitely too early for this. John gave up on the sleep idea and opened his eyes again. "What?"

"Are you even listening to me?" Rodney turned towards John, looking frustrated. "The US Air Force decided the best weapon of defense was to turn their enemies into sex-crazed homosexuals and all you can say is what?"

"Rodney, I don't even know what you're talking about. And what time is it anyway?"

"Seven. And aren't you going to say anything about this?"

"About what?" John asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

"About...what we've been talking about for the last five minutes! Seriously, did you suffer brain damage last night? You hit your head pretty hard on the wall and I know we were a little preoccupied at the time, but you could have a concussion. Maybe we should get you checked out. Memory loss is a sure sign that..."

"Rodney! I do not have a concussion. I was having a nice, restful morning before you started slamming the guys that sign your paychecks."

"Yes, paychecks that do me no good in another galaxy! Somehow flashing a few hundreds on M3R-428 is not going to get us anywhere."

"Rodney," John sighed. "Either tell me what's got you so worked up or let me go back to sleep. Your choice."

"This is what!" Rodney shoved the laptop towards John. "Apparently all that time we've been spending on trying to kill the Wraith, we should have just been trying to gay them up!"

"Wow," John said as he read, "That's pretty dumb."

"You think?" Rodney's sarcasm couldn't be contained.

John handed the laptop back. "Hey, don't be blaming me. First of all, I never said the guys at the Pentagon had much intelligence. And secondly, you cannot seriously blame me for this considering current situations."

"Maybe they didn't abandon it. You know how much they lie. Maybe they've been testing it on people." Rodney's eyes went big. "Maybe they tested it on you. When you were on Earth, you didn't agree to participate in any simulations for the good of your country did you? Something that involved breathing in unknown substances?"

"I am not having this conversation!" John rose from the bed, walking over to grab some clothes before heading to the shower. "And besides," he said, rummaging through black shirts, "You're the one that worked at Area 51. Maybe you were a guinea pig without knowing it."

"Oh please," Rodney scoffed. "I was nowhere near straight when the government got ahold of me. And what are you doing? I thought we could try for round two from last night."

"Why would you wanna do that?" John yanked a shirt out and started towards the shower. "You think I like sucking you off because the government made me this way. Thanks for making me feel real special."

"Sheppard! John!" Rodney called out after him, but he wasn't stopping.

John started the shower and got inside, effectively cutting off McKay's shouts. He was just soaping up when a naked Rodney stepped in to join him.

"I'm sorry I questioned your attraction to my cock," Rodney said by way of apology, coming nearer to John and plastering himself onto his lover's wet, soapy body. "You're here, you're queer, I'm used to it," he said, smiling.

"Rodney," John laughed, "You make me question my sanity sometimes."

"Sometimes? I question your sanity everyday."

"This is not helping your case towards getting a replay of last night," John said, stealing a quick kiss.

"Don't want a replay." At John's startled gaze, Rodney continued, "We're going for something else now. Turn around."

John's slow smile lit up his face as he turned his back towards Rodney. And he had to laugh as, just when he felt Rodney's soap-slicked cock gaining entrance, McKay whispered into his ear, "And for the record, your government's still stupid."


End file.
